There was once this happily married couple, well, they were happy apart from one thing, the husband's bad habit of breaking wind every morning.
On their 30th wedding anniversary, the wife woke up, as usual, coughing and and gasping for breath. She then decided that she was so fed up with this that she would get her revenge. So she went downstairs, into the kitchen, picked up a big bowl, and filled it with raw liver,mashed potato, gravy, red wine and minced beef, shemixed it all up, went upstairs and dumped the contents of the bowl into the bed next to her husband. She went downstairs and waited.
About an hour later, the wife heard a couple of huge farts reverberate off the floorboards and then she heard a blood curdling scream.
About an hour later the husband came down the stairs holding the "bloodstained" sheets and pyjamas. He then said
"Wife, all these years you've been telling me, but i never did, but now i knew i should have listened."
'What do you mean?' asked the wife tying not laugh.
'All these years you've been telling me that one day I'd fart my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of god, and these two fingers, I got them all back in again!'
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